How to Deal With Self Doubt and Naysayers – Vampires!

Vampires. They can suck the life right out of you. I like to refer to self doubt, fears, haters and naysayers as Vampires because well, these inner and outer influences can suck your energy and dreams right out of you if you let it. Have you ever had a great idea you were stoked about followed by a little voice in your head telling you “you’re not good enough, that’s for other people.” How about when you have an idea and share it with someone just for them to tell you all of the reasons it won’t work? Ah yes, we all have that family member, friend, social media troll or inner voice. For some, the inner voice has more pull than outside influences and vice versa.

When I wrote down my goal of working remotely full time, I told a few people about it. Most of the people I told were super supportive, but there were a few that responded with a condescending laugh (I call it the Yeah Right chuckle) followed by a “Good luck.” Some even thought my ideas were code for that I couldn’t find work. It’s hard to ignore those outside influences even from people you don’t even know! Why we care about what other people think will always baffle me, but it’s real and it happens whether we like it or not. I would recommend keeping your ideas close to the vest at first. Only tell those you know will fully support you and for those that don’t? Leave them in the dark. If they find out through the grapevine and ask you about it, I suggest keeping the details to a minimum and don’t stick around for their two-cents.

For some, your inner doubt will keep you from taking even the first step in your journey. When I wrote down my goal, I have to be honest, I didn’t fully believe I could achieve it. I had known a few people that worked fully remote including a former professor of mine who had quit her teaching job, had a child and was working remotely and house sitting in exchange for rent. Having someone I knew who was living the life I wanted, made it seem more attainable to me. What also made me believe that I too could achieve my goal was to create a plan of action as to how I was going to achieve it. It wasn’t going to happen overnight, but I could take steps everyday to set myself in the best position possible. Having a positive mindset is key, but that alone will not help you reach your goal. In fact, there were several days where I felt defeated and hopeless because nothing was happening. That’s totally normal. Not every day is going to be unicorns and rainbows, but the key is to do something toward your goal every damn day. It doesn’t matter what it is, just do something.

Have you ever hiked to the top of something? Did you get there in one step? Did you walk in a perfectly straight line to get there? Unless you can leap like the Hulk or walked on a tightrope to get there I would say no. You walked one step at a time, perhaps veering to the right or left a bit, but you were still moving in the same general direction until you reached the top. The same goes for your goals. One inch or step of forward movement is positive movement. Whether it’s a literal climb or a figurative one, you won’t accomplish a goal in a single step or without some slight detours or setbacks. The takeaway? Write down your goal and do something, anything every day to achieve it.

What about those inner Vampire voices? They creep up on you when you’re about to go to sleep. They might go something like this “you will never be good enough” “that idea has already be done” “others can do it better than you” “you don’t have the expertise or experience” so on and so forth. Why do we take these thoughts as truths? Because we’re human. The key is to try and control your thoughts and if you have trouble with that, swipe right or left. What do I mean by that? If you have ever watched Iron Man/Tony Stark in the last 10 years of Marvel movies you have watched him swipe holograms left and right to get them out of his way for one reason or another. I like to think of those Vampire voices as those holograms. As they come in, don’t dwell on them, just acknowledge they are there and gently swipe them away. I have to tell you, it takes practice and you might find a better way of brushing aside your thoughts, but it can be very helpful. Although they can be convincing, your thoughts do not define you. Acknowledge them, challenge their validity and send them on their way. If at first you don’t succeed keep trying. It’s not easy, but worth it.

Grand rewards are awaiting you!

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  1. katie jahns Reply

    Wonderful article and very relevant to all of us. You don’t realize how strong you are – mentally and physically. Your dreams are coming true because you made it happen.

    Love you tons

    A. Kate

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